~me~

Lots of things to think and to do these days,
I feel really tired.

I try to be cold to you as I don't know how should
I act when I'm not here anymore.

I hate the months of March and April because
most of my past relationships ended in these two months.

I'm afraid it will happen between you and me.

I don't know when will you read this coz
I did not tell you I write it here.
I just want it to be like a diary...
to express what I feel and why I did those things to you.

Once you read it, you will understand.
I'm not good at talking and telling you what I want.
I feel like disappear from the world for few days
and hope when I come back, everything will be better.

I hate what I'm doing now,
I don't really know what I want.

I try hard to study for the test tomorrow but seem like
the book is too big to finish reading it tonight.
I will try again anyway...^_^

I hope I won't do more stupid things,
I hope I won't be mad at you anymore...I hope...

Things are complicated in my mind,
I just don't know where to go and what to do.
The plan I had was destroyed.

Somewhere far away opens for me to be there but
I don't wanna go that far...coz of what, I've already told you.

Haiz...really mad and don't know what to do...
wish you are here to help me think...but
you are not.

I understand about the differences in our ages and distance.
Sometimes I act like a kid and playing with you
does not mean that I don't think anything in my head.

You don't know every time I look at you, I always question that
"how long can I have this girl with me like this?"

I'm not an impressive person.
I can't make you happy everyday or even bring new excited things into your life.
I'm just an ordinary with low self-esteem about love.

Please tell me if you are not sure about anything,
I won't be able to handle if one day you suddenly
disappear from my life.

~~~~~~